Q: does physical attraction supersede all other attraction? can you be with someone you aren't physically attracted to?
I was mid-comment when it hit me. I've never dated a guy for his looks. Like NEVER. Looks have never even been in the top 3 reasons for my attraction to any dude I've ever dated. EVER. I don't have that Chili list tape playing that says he has to fine like a ticket on the dash, reach up to hug tall, w/ 6 pack abs. I do know women who go for the abs and/or the pretty boys and will shut a brotha down for wearing the wrong color dark indigo denim, I'm just not that chick. That said, in my opinion I think most women have an easier time looking past looks. Insert almost any public couple as a reference. Bey/Jay, AKeys/Swizz, The Dream/Who ever he's frolicking on a beach with that day.
To be clear I've only dated one really not so attractive guy, everyone else was either average or just above average but far from drop dead. My hubby in my opinion is gorgeous. But my point is their appearance wasn't what I liked or didn't like first. I agree with Tha Unpretentious Narcissist that looks are subjective & to his point " love = attraction. if i love you, you're the most beautiful person to me".
Here are 7 other logical reasons a woman would be with someone she wasn't physically attracted to.
1. He Power Trips
This is classic Monica Lewinsky territory here. On appearance alone Bill Clinton is not a great looking guy but he was the POTUS and he played the sax on Arsenio. He's a cool dude who obviously likes his women "healthy" and being the leader of the free world is a definite panty dropper
or at least a reason to break out the knee pads. Power is attractive. The allure of having a staff or a legion of minions at your mist to do your bidding is a complete turn on. We all know this.
2. Money Hungry
We need it. It's necessary. We have to have it. Some of us take an easier route to it by dealing with guys that they wouldn't make a sandwich for if he was a broke azz. It's the glitz, the glam, the shopping sprees, the trips to the keys, and all that other stuff Foxy Brown used to rap about before she started assaulting and stalking folks. Yup, we'll overlook Jabber Jaws for a nice rock, a Jag, and a 8 bedroom estate on Miami's Star Island.
3.He Makes Us Feel Goooood
I watched Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom's Wedding Special and I remember hearing Khloe talk about how much Lamar tells her she's beautiful and how much he loves her and how no one has ever made her feel this way before. If she mentioned why she wanted to marry him inside 30 days of meeting him beyond how he made her feel it was edited out because I didn't hear it. Lamar is average in a Shrek kinda way but he makes her feel
like a natural woman like a shiny new beautiful princess. Sometimes that's all it takes.
4. He's Hilarious
Here's an A lovely Dai exclusive. You want to get to the heart of me...make me laugh. If by the end of our date I'm sweating, crying, knee slapping, and holding my stomach you've done well. I will like you. If you can do voices and impressions and re-tell a tale so great the silver screen & James Cameron couldn't do it better, I will love you. If you can turn the dullest or most serious or situations into a laughtastic good time, i.e. closing on a new home, moving with the Russian Mafia who then hold our furniture hostage, or cussing out the repair shop after paying 2 grand for a car that's still not fixed, I will marry you (true stories). A jokester equals a good time and an ability to turn a bad situation into a great story.
5. He's a Great Conversationalist
I am a sucker for a great word smith. I'm a writer. It kinda goes with the territory. I love to word spar with the best of them and if there's actual substance behind those words then whew *fans self*. A great debate or conversation is just hard for me to resist. I have dated a couple of below average guys because they were intellectual, well read, well traveled, in the know kinda dudes. It means you know something; that you can pay attention to something other than Sports Center. If we can discuss Obama's financial overhaul initiatives and the effects Dave Chappelle left on comedy, I might have coffee with you which may or may not lead to another coffee date. Pretty boys often equal dull. I went on a lunch date with this really sexy, handsome, built specimen of a man who also happened (at the time) to play professional football. It was a total snooze fest. I had more fun conversing with the waiter.
6. He's a Neat Freak
I dated a guy who was a complete slob, car, apartment, everything. I couldn't get past it. We didn't work. I added "slob" to my list of deal breakers. I then dated a guy who would come over to my apartment and straighten up before I got there if I worked late. I kept him around. To me, being neat isn't just about being clean and tidy, it translates into other areas of their life. Is he on time? Organized? Is he careful with his money? Smell yummy? Does he take time for his own appearance, hair cut, shave, clean shoes, finger nails, etc? I'll take an average nice looking clean/neat dude over a sexy slob any day.
7. He Goes Above & Beyond
That dude who used to come to clean up for me used to also make me breakfast in the morning. Let me re-phrase. He would wake up an hour earlier than he needed to, drive to my home, and make me breakfast!
He was dedicated and committed to showing me how he felt. Sometimes the really fine, tall, dark, and handsome guy has pretty boy syndrome. They know women will swoon over their looks & so they don't work as hard to please you. I like my men strong, confident, and often cocky, but sweetness goes a long way. Nicer looking guys sometimes lack this trait.
So here are my 7 reasons to look beyond looks. What am I missing? If you've ever looked beyond someone's appearance what did you find?
The floor is open.