Analog Girl

Reason #629 Why I Love Books (non-Kindle books).

You get a book. You open the book. You start with the 1st word, then sentence, then paragraph, then page, then chapter until that book is complete. No batteries required, no need for an outlet, no downloading, or re-charging. Just me & the words on the page. And during the day all I need is good old fashioned mother nature powered sun. Ahhhh!

So you can imagine the look on my face when the hubby forces me to open the last of my holiday gifts....an Apple iPod Touch. I was honestly shocked. Me...with a gadget? Have we met? An iPod? This from the man that used to have to pull me from the PC at 1 in the morning as I waited for Habeeb from Dell to call me back after the 3rd reboot. This from the man who leaves the flat screen on game mode just to taunt me (I know there's a hidden camera somewhere laughing at me as I curse the day he learned to do things I can't like watch TV using the correct remote with both audio & video working together as one...he sucks.)

But I really am excited. No more fumbling around for CDs in the cold car. No more desperate attempts to conveniently always drive the car with XM radio. No more asking both the hubby & the Fidge to make play lists for me on their respective iPods. This will shave at least 27.9 days off of my "find music" time allotment.

I was so excited I shelved the thing opting to hang with the fam playing the new Xbox Kinnect system. Very cool I might add (we Kinnected with my family back in Baltimore later this day). But for now we watched Dat Dood finish playing Sonic using his cute little self as the control. My son at 4 yrs old is a natural gamer. I think God makes them all that way. Then it was family bowling.

My hubby picks up his imaginary bowling bowl & bowls a strike right off the back. Fidge grabs her virtual bowling ball & picks up a spare. Then it's my time. I try to get out of it...I know how this story will end. But they kept fam pressuring me. So I stand up, allow myself to be scanned or beamed (I dunno), & pick up my imaginary bowling ball which falls & goes right down the gutter.

Seriously? How in God's green earth does a hand full of air morph into a gutter ball? iQuit.

Later I uploaded the software to Dood's iXL perfectly. No glitches. Then I went to add the extra game that we bought & the stupid thing kept telling me that it can't be uploaded because it can't connect to the internet. I'm online facebooking as I'm doing this. After several attempts & delays in checking on Shia my prime rib I give up & announce that the thing is broken along with my tech spirit. iQuit.

We eat, drink, & everyone is pretty merry until it's time to add music to the iPod. Seemed simple enough right? No! For starters all of my most prized music is housed within a 10 yr old PC (yes that PC), the back up music is stored on what is now my hubby's lap top. I own a netbook. No CD/DVD drive means no uploading of CDs which means no music on it except for radio streaming & pandora. *Heavy sigh*

So we decide to set up a 2nd iTune account on the laptop. Great idea right? Wrong. Apple (who probably also has hidden cameras in my home laughing at me as well) doesn't wish to recognize the 2nd account or something like that. iDunno. By this time the Fidge & the hubby took over & I was reading a book.

So step 1: Upload all music into shared network.

This took forever or the amount of time it took for the Heat to spank the Lakers. Whatever came first.

Step 2: Set up iTunes account on my netbook. Wait for email confirmation, click on link & re-enter user name & password (the only password I have for anything btw), and the thing tells me it's wrong. Uggghhh!! The hubby says, "Just X outta that, that happens sometimes". Really? iTunes just randomly decided at this moment that they don't like my password? Or was it my user name? iJustcan't...

Step 3: Upload each & every music file started with the As. Aaliyah starts uploading & converting itself into something that Apple recognizes & this is taking way too long.

Step 4: iFellasleep

Step 5: The next morning I continue uploading files from Beyonce to Zero 7 which takes up the better part of the 1st day of Kwanzaa. The hubby is off to work & the Fidge is annoyed with me. Umoja (unity) my arse! iAmalone & iCouldscream

Other things that did not go well include uploading Dood's Tag book to his Tag pen & playing Bop it (apparently I don't "pull it" fast or hard enough). 

Bottom line. iSuck & I don't want to because one day there won't be a CD within 3000 miles of me & my beloved Borders book store will close down. I just know it. And then I'll end up in the black markets & eBay buying old copies of books now out of print. Or maybe not eBay...I could never quite log into my pay pal account even though I swear I'm using the right password.

Ughhhh.

I'm sure I'm the only 21st Schizoid Woman left so to the rest of you savvy gurus do any of you have any random acts of tech patience I can borrow?

Signed Desperately Seeking Solutions

Teena Marie

 

March 5, 1956 – December 26, 2010

I found out the remarkable "Ivory Queen of Soul" passed away the same way I usually learn about almost anything...via twitter. We then stood still awaiting a formal CNN announcement ( I don't know why we do this...it's as if it's not real unless CNN says so). Of course they did.

Teena Marie (real name Mary Christine Brockert) is said to have died in her home in Pasadena, CA of natural causes. She was 54. 


As news spread most of us online were already sharing & posting our favorite songs. However, I noticed several retweets from a few "youngins" that asked, "Who is Teena Marie?" 


So for those who don't know & for the rest of us who enjoyed her music I've posted some of her most memorable hits below. 


Side note: TV One will re-air Teena Marie Unsung tonight at 9pm est.

  












What's your favorite Teena Marie song? Mine are a toss up between "Deja Vu" and "Square Biz".

What's Wrong With Christmas Songs?

My dear friend JB hates Christmas songs. Yes, I'm using the word hate about Christmas songs. They get under her skin. She also owns a black Christmas tree soooooooo...there you go. Just kidding (not about the tree) but I do think there's something about holiday songs that bothers the snot out of people. What?

Glad you asked.

Christmas songs are a reminder that the holidays are approaching, around the corner, or here (and you're left to hunt at Walgreens and 7 Eleven for a last minute gift).

This is the time of year when most of us are busy doing the most.  So while some pull out their holiday sweaters and merrily deck the halls the rest of us are bah humbugging all the way.

Here's a few reasons why:

The Religious Disconnect:

I straddle two worlds, two religions, and it often leads to the most confusing time of the year. I also lived in a densely populated Jewish community for some years and so I'm always making sure I don't offend. "Seasons Greetings" & "Happy Holidays" come as natural to me as "Hello". It can get pretty overwhelming which is probably why my 4 yr old son can't wait for "Present Day" (I'll wait while y'all throw stones...at him...his words not mine. LOL!) Sometimes I just want to scream along as young Michael Jackson sings "Santa Claus is Coming to Town"!! But we all know that if you scramble the letters SANTA it also spells SATAN. No? Just me huh? How much does therapy costs?

Summer Ends & Up Goes All Of The Lights:

I don't think we made it home from our 4th stop Thanksgiving Day before The Temptations started singing "Silent Night". My hubby & I were both like Really? Can we at least get the gravy stains off our shirts first? Lawd! By the time we pulled into our driveway the entire front of our neighbors home was twinkling in energy efficient light blue lights (even though they still have pumpkins out...right now..there are still pumpkins in front of there home RIGHT NOW!) And as bad as we needed toilet paper black Friday I waited until after 5pm before I left my house. Crazy black Friday shoppers with their jingles bells and sleighs taking up all the prime parking spots. Geesh go home already!!

Making a List & Remembering Where You Put It Checking It Twice:

We should all be more like Mariah Carey. She only wants "You" for Christmas. Whomever that is. The rest of us are more like Destiny's Child "8 Days of Christmas". We want stuff...lots of it...and stuff is expensive. And the list can get lengthy. And if you're like my hubby or my friends you start taking an inventory of what each kid will receive to make sure it's either equal in quantity or price. Stuff + wrapping paper + bows = not disappointing anyone. Let's face it. None of us are ever 100% ready. There's always one more gift to buy, one more card to send...or text...or mass Facebook status update. There are cookies and meals to plan. The "do we have enough tape & batteries" & "where are the scissors"? Most of us are doing it with the same monthly budget we had in April. The fact that anyone gets anything done at all is the real miracle.

The Holiday Hop:

Donny Hathaway's "This Christmas" sounds magically impossible. So you're just gonna hang on the mistletoe & fa la la la la by the fireside...just caroling up and through the night huh? Where they do that at? The rest of us are doing our holiday house hop. We're snatching the kids from their new gifts & throwing them in the back of the car so they can get more gifts they won't have time to enjoy. We're ripping perfectly wrapped gifts trying to fit them in the trunk of the car that we need to clean out. We're being forced fed another plate of food and Grandma's 7 Up Cake (although we don't mind the 7 Up Cake). It can get quite overwhelming and fattening. I got 'itis just typing this.


So while I rest for Present Day y'all can enjoy the songs & answer the questions below. LOL!!!


The OCS (The Original Christmas Song): "This Christmas" Donny Hathaway 



The Festive: "All I Want For Christmas Is You" Mariah Carey 






The Disclaimer: "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" Jackson 5






The Fastest: "8 Days of Christmas" Destiny's Child 




The Longest: "Silent Night" The Temptations





So lovely people do you become merry with glee when you hear Christmas songs? Do they put you in the mood to have a hap happiest jolly good time? Or are you the Grinh Who Hates Christmas Songs?

The Floor is open.

Chai Spiced Cookies

 Actual Picture of the Actual Chai Spiced Cookies that I baked. I swear.

In my last baking mission statement I announced to all of you that "I, A Lovely Dai, self professed lover of all things edible, manifester of scratch made savory dishes, and one pot wonder woman can not bake worth a penny with a hole in it".

Since then I have been...ummm...how should I say this...trying. I have been trying. The yummy hubby & I did bake up this here pineapple upside down cake. It was quite tasty!!

So anyway...Chai cookies. I caught an episode of Sunny Anderson whipping up the cookie dough leaving them versatile enough to make them however you chose. She did do a Chai version on the show that called for less flour (only 1 cup) & resulted in a really sticky flat chewy cookie. I opted to add more flour to make it rounder & more cookie like<< that's a technical baking term btw. Then I drizzled chocolate over them & sprinkled them with almonds. They were easy to make (which by my skills means some of y'all could bake them while wrapping presents, spiking egg nog, & caroling) and oh so yummy delicious!!

Chai Cookies (yields 2 dozen)

2 sticks softened butter
1 1/3 cups dark brown sugar
2 cups all purpose flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 Tbs of ground ginger
1 Tbs Garam Marsala (blend of black pepper, cardonom, cinnamon, cumin & cloves) >>>

OPTIONAL: 
Melted semi-sweet chocolate chips
Chopped Almonds


Preheat oven to 375 degrees

Cream butter & brown sugar completely.

Sift flour & baking powder & add to creamed mixture & blend.

Add spices and mix thoroughly.

Roll into1 inch balls & gently flatten each top.

Arrange on cookie sheet lined with parchment paper or aluminum foil & bake for 10-12 minutes. Center will slightly gooey.

OPTIONAL:
While cookies bake. Melt chocolate either in a microwave safe bowl for about 30 seconds or over a double boiler. I used a metal bowl over a sauce pot with about 1 inch of boiling water. Chop Almonds.

Once cookies are cool to the touch use a fork to create drizzles over chocolate on cookies (this is where the parchment or foil comes in handy). Top with almonds.

The great thing about these cookies is that you can truly take the same batter & make them however you wish which is perfect for someone like me who likes to invent while I cook.

Other ideas: Toffee Cookies, Oatmeal Spiced Cookies, Egg Nog Cookies. Same batter different spices & voila!

Also: If you don't own Garam Marsala you can certainly just use the spices in your pantry or buy a few. I find affordable spices at my farmers market or the asian/indian/international section of my local grocery store.

The key is to just have fun with it and remember to pass this recipe off to the baker (or non-baker) in your life.

Seasons Eatings!!! 

Forever, Forever, Ever, Forever, Ever????

I've been to 3 elementary schools, three high schools, 3 colleges. I lived in more neighborhoods that I can remember. My background in being the new girl has served me well. I'm more well rounded than most, resilient, and can pack a bag like nobody's business. That said I have very few issues with change. This is a gift and a curse.

The Gift: See the aforementioned above. I settle comfortably in many situations with new people, places, jobs, etc.

The Curse: I do not settle well in relationships with the opposite sex. It's what happens when you've lived a life subconsciously reinventing yourself for every new situation. Usually once people get a true glimpse of me I was on to the next school or neighborhood. Relationships...not so much. I stay looking for the exit signs. It can be very Jason Bourne-esque. I have a mental list of my necessities coupled with the approximate time it would take me to reach said items. I can go from my bedroom to the front door in complete darkness. I can also push one button on my cell to blow the whole place to smithereens.

See for years when the going got tough. I bounced. When I was done, I threw my hands up and left. If you pissed me off I made other plans. Plans? Yeah, I kept a fresh pair of those in my undie drawer; you know for insurance purposes.

True story: I once left a relationship Grinch style taking everything down to the shower curtain and the last roll of toilet paper. I was not so lovely. There are a couple of guys who don't talk to me (to this day) for my bad exits.

Anyway my point...yes I do have one. I am a leaver.

Leaver (n): A person who frequently goes away, departs, flees sight unseen to avoid the inevitable often painful daunting task of dealing with the situation at hand.

*deep sigh*

This does NOT work well in a marriage. 

A little history. I've seen great relationships in my life. I've seen them work well. I've seen arguments end in compromise & understanding. I've been blessed in this regard. However, I never actually wanted to be married. I liked the idea of loving a person without contracts and restraints and the part where you can just pack up & go.

In that whole marriage thing, taking a break turns into a legal separation. And breaking up becomes a divorce. That's just a lot of paperwork. 


I also think that "for better or for worse" needs an escape clause to be clearly defined as part of the vows. Of course, I say all of this as a happily married woman. 

But that's the myth. Even happily married people think forever is a really loonnnnnng time. No time is this more apparent than when your close friends are in the mist of a marital crisis. 

When you watch them plan the wedding & pick the best man & buy the gift & celebrate in their union, you don't think about how it will all end. You can't imagine when you're eating the meal they so carefully chose and watching the maid of honor give her toast that years later you would be praying for them to....just...be...happy.  


For me that's what's it's mostly about. When you've said all you can say, spun on your axis to change who you are, cried every tear, sought spiritual guidance, confessed on couches, drank, smoke, drove fast cars, had a side piece & you're still miserable & depressed as f*ck when do you get to call it a wash, divide the furniture and end it?   

When the sh*t is irretrievably broken what else are you supposed to do?


Do you stay so that the family portrait looks complete? Do you stay to appear at family gatherings, holidays, and birthdays intact & color coordinated? Do you sacrifice your own feelings--hold happy hostage--just to stay under one roof? 

What say you? 

I'm not sure. Forever is a looonnnnggg time when you're perfectly content. I couldn't do it while miserable. But that's just the leaver in me. 


The floor is open.

Kanye West is the BEST OF ALL TIME...

...or at least this year according to some major music publications.  Kanye's latest offering, the sonically inspiring My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, ranks at #1 (or top 10) on most 2010 album of the year charts. A fitting tribute considering no one puts his all into his craft like Mr. I'ma Let You Finish.

The Run Down:

Rolling Stone crowns it the best Album of 2010 stating that West provides "songs full of the kind of grandiose gestures that only the foolish attempt and only the wildly talented pull off".

Spin Magazine uses all of the same words that we've been reading since MBDTF's November 2010 release. "Ballsy". "Self-aware". "Grandiose". "Michael Jackson Memorial Chair of Pop Primacy" << too much too soon?

A.V.Club says MBDTF "is a bipolar, bombastic screed that volleys emotionally between Kanye’s mad-god complex to contemplations of suicide, from big-dick bluster to “I’m a douchebag” self-pity, with moments of excoriating introspection brushing up against petty bitching and jokes about reupholstered vaginas." Couldn't have said it better myself if I had 5 star dishes and different exotic fishes.

And just to show how long West's reach is he even gets best of the year top honors from the Oklahoma Daily (Kanye's mom Dr. Donda West was laid to rest in Oklahoma City) and West Virginia University's paper The Daily Antheaeum.

My person fav however, comes from Time Magazine which ranks MBDTF #1 on its top of everything album list citing that he "delivered the musical equivalent of a one-handed back handspring." Kanye would be so pleased.

Adding the icing on the cake Time also recognizes Mr. West as numero uno on the 2010 Top Twitter Moments for...wait for it...joining twitter.

Seems that one man really can have all of that power.

What say you? Who reigns supreme on your Top 2010 lists?

The floor is open.

How Tivo Can Keep You Alive

When it comes to marriage (or cohabitation) the operative word in dealing with any situation is without a doubt COMPROMISE. I'm not just talking about the big stuff like where to live or whose cell phone plan you'll use. That stuff becomes meaningless after a while. I'm talking about the everydayness of it all. For example:

I want chili. You want cream of chicken wild rice soup Let's make a white chili! Compromise.

You like it warm at night. I like it a bit cool. Let's keep the thermostat at 72 & you take the down comforter.  Encouragement.

I want to watch The Closer on Monday nights. You want to watch Monday Night Football. Let me grab a steak knife and stab you 7 times because I need Kyra Sedgwick in my life. Wait...huh?

Yes ladies & gentlemen. I don't make these things up.

Deloris Holley likes to watch "The Closer" on Monday night. Her newlywed husband David Marion likes to watch Monday Night Football. When their discussion over who would control the TV remote got heated this week, Holley got her point across by stabbing her husband seven times, St. Petersburg Police say. Detectives said the couple had been married just five months before their emotions got away from them in a heated discussion over watching Kyra Sedgwick or Tom Brady. The police report claims Holley got so angry when her husband wouldn't give up the remote, she ran to the kitchen, grabbed a 5-inch steak knife and stabbed Marion seven times in the back of his head, his face, his shoulder and his chest, nearly killing him. Marion was rushed to the hospital and will survive. Holley was charged with attempted murder. Police say alcohol may have been a factor in the attack. "Everybody has their argument in front of the television, but obviously, this went extreme in this case," Officer Michael Puetz said.

 For the record, the Patriots beat the Jets 45-3 on MNF and "The Closer" was a re-run.

Now before we get all "I can't believe she did that" let's consider a few things:

• Perhaps in St. Petersburg, FL you're only allowed one TV per home. 
• Perhaps TIVO, DVR, computers, iPads, internet, & cell phones are all banned.
• Maybe just maybe this was part of their "stab you up to make up" routine. You never can tell what really goes on behind closed doors ya know. 
• Perhaps David Marion forgot about this pre-planned Monday night S&M ritual & thought his wife was actually trying to kill him when he called the police.They've only been married for 5 months. Building a routine takes a while.
• Perhaps Deloris Holley didn't know that TNT replays the same shows several times a week and in fact that same re-run of The Closer came on again at 11pm. I mean how could she know without internet and the cable guide button on the remote that her husband wouldn't give her.

I for one am devastating by the St. Petersburg Police Departments lack of of proper due diligence in this matter and I will be investing in Tivo immediately.

Tivo & Oprah Saves Y'all!

Source 

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An Email to the Not So Anonymous Blogger

I'm really bad at checking my personal email accounts. I have a few. I wish there was a funnel system that diverted them all into a central location for me to peruse at my leisure. Anyway...so I'm checking my email for this here blog thingy and beyond the usual small requests (for product reviews) I received an interesting email from a reader.

*She gave me permission to use parts of her email for the sake of this post but asks that I do not use her name which is pretty unique like mine. Fair enough. So let's call her Kelly.

A Lovely Dai,

First I just want to say that I love your blog. Can't remember how I found it but I'm glad I did. I think it was the one about your hubby thinking you was mad at him. LOL! Since then I've read some of your earlier entries and I hope you continue writing more. I have a few questions. I noticed that at times you talk about your exes (not sure if they were boyfriends or if you were married before). I'm curious to know how your husband feels about that. I'm sure it's had to cause some problems. Do you know if your exes read your blog? That could get sketchy. 

                   Curious "Kelly"

Thanks again "Kelly". My first action was to backtrack & make sure she really exists. She does. LOL! And she was really sweet even after my second reaction was a bit on the defensive. After all, I write what I want to write...right?

Wrong. Truth is I don't. Truth is there are no less than 6 unpublished posts on any given day because I either don't want rehash old stuff, give more energy to people who aren't deserving, or simply don't want to offend. Yup. When it comes to this here blog I don't say everything I'm thinking or feeling which sucks giant monkey balls. The reason for this is simple. I am NOT anonymous. That was a conscious decision that I stay wrestling with. As a writer no matter how depressing, embarrassing, or obnoxious a situation is I see the story first. I'm like a comedian with no boundaries. Everything for me is a story to be told. When others hide their negatives and cast them in closets I want throw mine a party...with a really cool theme.

But to answer her question or for anyone who is curious when it comes to the hubby I do run my posts by him. It's his life too. I have had other people (other men) question why I "put him out there" or "put our business on the street". Again, unless it's lovely mushy stuff I do give him the option to censor it. That said, he has NEVER EVER asked that I do not write something about him. He knows that I will do my best to tell both sides of any story and will never attempt to demean or disrespect him. He's awesome like that.

And no he doesn't take issue when I write about an ex or my favorite ex-boyfriend (a bit of an inside joke considering that he's my favorite since he's the only ex who still speaks to me).

I spoke with my fav ex about this blog many months ago once other people started asking him if he was the guy I often referred to. His opinion is that this is my truth, my side of the story, and that it's from my point of view. He was also nice enough to say that he learned a thing or two from this post. All very lovely to hear since this is why I write. Sometimes I don't even know what the lessons are until I start pounding on the keys.

I haven't heard from any other exes. Safe to assume that they don't know about this.

I've said this before and I'll say it again. Writing is my most personal tool to clear up the "stuff". Blogging has become my platform. Some issues are more personal than others. Some I like to explore simply because I know others can relate. 

I strongly believe that hiding what makes us human...our faults, weaknesses, and imperfections are the very reason that some of us aren't happy. We're trying to live up to an ideal that frankly doesn't exist. I love people with a little dirt on them. Perfect Patty & Peter are not part of my inner circle. The growth opportunity lies within our flaws. This entire blog is about making those flaws...lovely. I hope it's working.

Thanks again "Kelly" if that's you're real name. LOL! I get asked these questions quite often off line so thanks for giving a reason to explore them further.

I'm curious about what my fellow blogger have to say on the matter. Do you censor yourself? Do you wrestle with being authentic without being offensive? Do you have a secret anonymous blog out there in the blogosphere (not that I know anything about that)?

The floor is open.


 

MM: A Jewish Canadian Emo Rapper Is My New Fav R&B Songwriter...Who Knew?

I remember my first listen to Alicia Key's last offering (not the baby) but her last CD The Element Of Freedom. I was in the middle of my usual car listen (thanks Bose) when I got to "Unthinkable". Immediately I thought, she didn't write this. It plays like a quiet storm. She doesn't do that. When Alicia means something in her songs she belts it out. This was different. It was smoky sweet & reeked of longing. She didn't write this. Where's the liner notes? 

Sure as shyt the first song credit went to Aubrey Graham. Drake. Damn.

I believed Lil' Wayne when he rightfully announced, "...we (Young Money) gon' be alright if we put Drake on every hook" on Birdman's "Money To Blow." Pretty much every hook this man writes gets airplay. I personally gave Bun B's "Put it Down" a second listen once Mr. Graham started singing.

His melodies are contagious and his musical imprint reaches like Nicki Minaj's azz.

I even tried to ignore him for a spell. I swear. I gave "Thank Me Later" a good hard listen then I gave it cab fare & 6:15ed it. But that hasn't stopped him from popping up. Pimple.

Most recently he's helped Diddy Dirty Money catch their Long Last Train to Paris (you know the one that's finally being released this month after they had to redo the whole damn thing since someone killed auto-tune? Yeah that one.) Have a listen.



Not bad right? Has a nice Diddy Bop to it right? I even overlooked the line, "I love you more than I love myself" (my self esteem has trouble digesting this).

Then he managed to take the one singer that I can't take seriously (blame Wanda) and got me to uh...take him seriously. SN: Official video in the works.



In every hook, feature, or song from his own repertoire what he manages to convey above all else is emotion. Most often songs are felt through the vocal performance. A high note. Or the dramatics of a long stretch of a key. Sometimes it's felt within the track. The pounding of the percussion. The flare of a trumpet.

In Drake's case it's mostly in the melody. It's the simple way each note/word holds the next. I imagine that it's easy for someone who claims to prefer R&B over Hip Hop. I also imagine it's easy for someone in tune with himself.

And most of all...his songs are just so darn catchy. And memorable.

What say you? Are you tired of Drake ( I am...I want to quit him)? Can you believe this "rapper" has had such an impact on R&B music?

The floor is open.