Yes, I have been known to say the darndest things: Babe sit down I'll clean up. You work too hard you should take a day off. Here prop your feet up. Football's on & hey...*hand over netbook with video playing of this here*...welcome home.
I'll wait *sips hot cocoa*.
For those of you brave enough to click the above link you understand. That girl...whew...I mean really...to have the left cheek completely isolated from the right. That takes years of practice. That sista is skilled. I ain't gonna say that I found her on twitter & DM'd her but I found her on twitter & DM'd her. This chick needs a How To video or something. Moving on...like her azz (I couldn't help myself).
Anyway...so would you like to know what the hubby said to me after watching just a few seconds (only a few) of this? Would you like to know of all the azz-tastic things he could have referenced what vile things spewed from his lips? He said,
"She's really talented."
What fo' lawd & all that's right with the world was this comment? I showed you azz...jigggling...I scoured the depths of twitter, inboxed this to no less than 10 of my online buddies & a couple of my sistas who could appreciate her blessings & all you can say is she's really talented? Fo' shame!
And this people is how it went throughout our last minute date night.
I asked if he'll ever be at least 94% comfortable with me. He replied dazed & confused wondering what he did wrong. I stated that I understand that I'm not one of his boys but I used to be & this marriage mess is messing up that part of us.
"So you want me to treat you like one of my boys? You don't even let me call y'all 'females'."
"Well we're not cattle & 'female' is a slippery slope to bytch. But no, I don't wannt just be one of the guys...I don't know...I'm confused now."
And I was. I was remembering my friend, my homie that I used to hang with before things took a left turn to my boo-ville. I was remembering our clubs nights & house parties. Drinking games & miniature golf. I was remembering the days before we became an us with a marriage license.
"I guess I'm just wondering when I got trapped in the wife only box." This is the part where the convo starts making no sense at all. I mean don't women aspire to be the WIFE? Isn't that the goal for some?
"I was the last person you sent that link to. You put ME in the husband box too." He had a point. But still what is this all about, I wondered. The other night I played sneak attack text with him from my iPod & a random phone number. Not only did he not care about this "other woman" flirting with him, he didn't tell me about her, and he made sure to tell the "mysterious chick" that he was married. Lawd, how nice is this guy?
"So you want me to treat you like a jerk? You wanna be disrespected & watch me check out other women?"
"Okay, I realize that all of this is insane. I mean...I'm complaining about you treating me with dignity & respect. This has got to be one for the books."
"Listen, I know you don't have many guy friends like you used to..."
"Yes!!" I cut him off. "That's it! Ding, ding, ding. Waiter give this man a drink! *drum rolls on table* That's it. I don't have any guy friends anymore. You are now my only guy friend. If we can't talk sports, music, & booty then I am screwed."
And it could get real dull around these parts. I'm curious to know what you guys think. I realize my logic is not typical woman speak. I also realize that my hubby is part of a dying breed of gentlemen.
Am I insane to want my hubby to discuss all things bootay with me? Or should I stay in the sane lane of respectful days and loving nights & blah blah blah snore blah??
The floor is open.
YAY!
ReplyDeletei'm not the only insane one!! woo...
before anything me and my hubby were bff first... we got married and all the bootay slanging talk went out the window... he even told me, that hanging out with me isn't quite the same, that's why he likes to do the EXACT same thing with his boys because it's a different channel. i know how to operate on a different channel. i'm secure enough in what we have to look at another woman's lovely lady lumps in the presence/with my husband.. so why doesn't he feel like it's appropriate to do so anymore?
AMEN SISTER DAI- bring back the days of big booty watching between the once just bffs...
YAY!!! Someone else can relate!!!! I am not alone.
ReplyDeleteDang you two are still newly weds, ha ha, compared to me...truth is you awfully confident to be able to to the "bootay" talk with the hubby!
ReplyDeleteI meant "to do" not to to!
ReplyDeleteSo how many yrs does it take before you're no longer newlyweds? Cause 5 seems like a lot.
ReplyDeleteI wasnt feeling that sneak attack text thing. That really troubled me on a few different levels lol
ReplyDeleteUm. I didn't experience this when I was married. We were definitely best friends and shared all things "friendly". I can understand wanting that back if you've lost it. It's about striking balance.
Most men dont know how women are going to react to certain things, so they play cool. He is not expecting you to be "cool" with him drooling over another chic with a fat ass, so he wont do it. He probably forwarded it to his friends though lol
Despite us saying we're "cool" with XYZ, they dont believe us. Ever. Thats a problem men have. They expect the worse because women are generally crazy. Those of us who are "cool" suffer for it.
Thats KSF for responding. I knew you would give me nothing but your honest opinion & that's why I asked for your take.
ReplyDeleteI say thanks for revelations! I've had a few this week.
you are insane. as men we are trained to act a certain way around women. even women friends. we all know things we do around or say to women friends we have to be careful around girlfriends. when girlfriends become wives..we can be free again to say and do anything cause we've trapped you. but you also have to know how to control "slippery" situations.
ReplyDeleteyou can be with a woman who doesn't mind you looking at other women. but you must always know that at any point this can change. and it can change and bad things can happen. very bad things.
you can also know you're with someone who trust you and you can tell everything. but simple things like getting flirted with if you handled it on your own does not need to be a conversation. it can change and bad things can happen. very bad things.
i guess what i'm saying is. you can be your husbands best friend. but the way men talk to other men. is SO MUCH different than we'll ever talk to a woman. that's homegirl, just a friend, girlfriend, wife, mother, daughter, etc..
there are rules. and the rules state.."don't forget she's your wife dude..." lol
Lol!!!! Well I never said I was sane!! Yeah again this is exactly why I write. My "friend" logic doesn't even make sense to me anymore.
ReplyDelete