How To Teach A Dood To Lose?

Dood playing Kinect Sports

A few weeks ago I picked Dood up from Preschool and he was laying in the corner reading a book. Highly unusual for a Dood as rambunctious as he is. So unusual in fact that his teacher immediately walked up to me to advise that she asked him if he was okay or tired or not feeling well and he replied, "I'm chilling!" I was delighted. Miss Teacher had no idea why. When we got in the car I asked Dood what happened and he told me something about a train and his friend getting it first and said, "I was angry so I laid down". Again I was beyond thrilled.

You may recall that Dood has had some issues making good choices at school so I've been trying to help him come up with ways to keep his nice hands from turning into very bad bad hands. Seeing him lie down with a book "chilling" because he was angry was a monumental occasion. He was simply using the tools he was taught by giving himself a time out. *pats self on back*

Fast forward to last night at speech class. Mr. Speech Teach showed Dood some random pictures  for him to observe and discuss in complete sentences. Each full sentence earns him a peg used for tic tac toe which he played against yours truly. Well certainly you don't think I'm just going to let this kid win do you? Heck no. You think my father let me win?

My dad & I used to play smack hands. It's a game where Person A holds their hands out palms up & Person B hovers their hands palms down over person A. The objective is for Person B is to move their hands fast before Person A flips their hand over and a smacks them. My Dad was relentless and showed no mercy. My little six year old hands were obliterated by my Dad's swollen calloused carpenter hands.

So no I don't let my kids win. Which turned a simple game of tic tac toe into a war zone. Dood yelled at me, then he cried, then he cried for his Daddy, and then he packed the game up and refused to do anything. Thus on the scale from great to poor, he earned "fair" for the session and didn't receive a sticker. Another loss!!

Needless to say the entire evening was a loss for everyone. And this is just another of a dozen instances where this kid can not take a loss. I used to think he was a natural gamer and his competitive abilities were a plus (and maybe they are) but I'm starting to think that it is NOT a game. It's life son! This kid will not lose. He will not go down without a fight.

He turns everything into a sport. He races us at dinner to see who can eat their veggies first. He'll trample you on the steps if you're ahead of him. He turns getting jackets and shoes on into a contest. The other day this lady was walking with her baby singing a song about being the best & Dood ran up to her and said, "No, I'm the best!" I don't lie when I tell the truth!!!

The worst part of all was hearing Mr. Speech Teach say to my kid, "Joshua you can't win all the time. Sometimes you're going to lose." I mean what kind of mess is that? On one hand it's absolutely true. On the other hand who knows what's he's destined for. Maybe he is a born winner. Who are we to diminish that competitive, determined spirit in him? How on God's green earth can you, do you, teach a kid to lose?

My Dad smacking the crap out of my hands didn't teach me to lose. He taught me to focus and pay attention to his subtitles. I learned to watch his eyes for the slightest change to avoid the smack and eventually I became just as good as him...if not better (okay that's stretch).

The point? I don't really know. I have nothing in my bag of tricks for this sort of thing. I realize some of his behavior is normal and absolutely vital. A few weeks ago he bit his fathers game controller because he came in 2nd place. 2nd place was the first loser to him and he took it out on the game. Truthfully it's his feisty nature that I love most about him. But again I ask...how on God's green earth can you...do you....teach a kid to lose?