But it did make sense. He's a great guy and I was ready for a great guy. So when he completely crossed the friend zone threshold holding me a little tighter around my waist on that miniature golf course, I surrendered just a little. When he flirted looking directly in my eyes, I didn't look away. When he gave me a big embrace and kissed my cheek just that much closer to my lips, I didn't budge.
And when he came to my home so that I could help him study for his professional license without any of his books or material, I laughed it off and said a silent what the hell to myself.
Dude was nice. He turned a quiet weekday work night eating pizza and watching Lion King 1 1/2 into the start of us. More importantly, he made no mistakes about what he wanted - me. He didn't take the back seat helping me shop for groceries or put furniture together. He didn't sit around listening to me vent about exes or recount my wish list for a great guy. He showed up as that guy and made sure to tell me so.
That my friends is the difference. You can sit by, hoping, praying, and friending your way into someone's life or you can step up and make it so clear that that person either has to acknowledge the possibility of you or let you go. There's a risk that someone may just get their feelings hurt. There's also a risk that you could ruin your friendship. Surprisingly, we have NEVER had the "what if this doesn't work & what will happen to our friendship" conversation. We trusted that it would either work or we could be mature about it ending. But here's the thing about that.
If you're in a friendship with someone who you'd rather be in a relationship with is it really a friendship?
You make good points. I definitely had someone who I saw in a romantic light, but was given the "line in the sand". I did manage to get over my feelings and now we're friends. For me, it's a friendship because we're there no matter what and we care for one another on a basic level. I even champion his cause to find him a chick to marry. lol. I also DID have this happen where a dude and I crossed the line, had sex and things fell apart.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad your dude figured out he wanted you...and that you knew you wanted him, too. A lot of folks aren't that lucky...most complain of it being a one-way infatuation which almost always ends in hurt feelings.
@Thee_Kween
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment sis.
Oh & there were some hurt feelings...from someone else...one post at a time right?
Yes, because if you end up not liking the person your in the relationship with that's an awful place to be..."unite the friendship with the love" that from The Circle Seven and it's so true, Peace!
ReplyDeleteSomeone's feelings were hurt? (It wasn't me, I swear!) LOL
ReplyDeleteIndeed, we post the news we don't create it. (Well sometimes we do...but that's besides the point! LOL)
Gee, I was a bit more forward. On our first date I wrapped my arms around her and planted one on her lips as soon as she got off the escalator at the train station.
ReplyDelete