What's In My Lunch Bag?

I had a discussion with a friend earlier this week about bag lunches. I'm a big advocate of them. I feel it definitely saves me money and time trying to find quick lunch eats and I also can control the quality of my ingredients. My friend who lives on $5 footlongs & drive thru was curious to know what was in my lunch bag so I thought I'd share with the whole class.

Today's lunch:

Lunch today will be 2 pulled chicken tacos (pulled chicken tossed with a blend of tomato sauce, cumin, chili pepper, garlic & onion powder, smoked paprika & cinnamon on corn tortillas with Monterey jack cheese & sour cream in the red cup) and a half corn on the cob. My mid-morning snack will be pretzel thins & roasted red pepper hummus in the white cup. Pink lady apple for either late afternoon or during my drive home & good ole H2O. 

A couple other lunches that I snapped a picture of before devouring include:

Turkey burger with red onion, tomato, & cucumbers on flat rounds & black bean corn salsa. Red delicious apple & water. 

Here's my deconstructed turkey wrap. Y'all already know how much I hate wilted soggy produce so I store that in a produce saver container. It has a vented tray underneath that allows the veggies to stay crisp & dry sitting above an air space & not in its own juices. The veggies are spring mix, green pepper strips, red onion, & shredded carrots. My whole wheat flat bread is wrapped separately from my smoked turkey & white cheddar slices. Yogurt honey mustard is in the white cup. 

Then it's wrapped & cut in half. On the side I have tri-color rotini pasta salad with broccoli, carrots, red onion, white cheddar cubes, oil, vinegar & tons of spices.

Do you pack your lunch? What tasty eats do you bring? If you're a lunch packer like me I'd love to see it. Send me a picture at alovelydai@gmail.com with the subject: LUNCH BAG and who knows, you may see it here one day.

The One Where The Hubby Doesn't Listen & Injures Himself

"Man that was a good game last night."

So before I could plead with the hubby (again) to take the fresh produce out of its plastic bags when he brings it home he cuts me off & says, "What did I do now?" It stung. I immediately stopped talking. What did I do now? As if, I'm always fussing about something. As if I'm that wife...you know...the nagging one. I'm not. Trust me. But for some reason I can't prove this to the hubby because in his mind all wives nag like the ones on TV. Even though on his day off he washed clothes, vacuumed the entire house, and started dinner which I thanked him and loved him for all he could hear was a "nag" coming his way.

Anyway so an entire ear of fresh corn went in the trash and the rest of the corn was soaked in corn juice from too much time spent in the bag, on the counter, in the heat & humidity. Uggghhh! Gross!

This morning the hubby & I moved throughout the kitchen doing our usual morning dance. I grabbed granola, he grabbed the almond milk, I got Dood's syrup, he made his pancakes.We're masters at this. Except when he bent down to find the perfect egg scrambling skillet, and I opened the drawer above him to get a spoon. I patted him on the back and said "watch your back" and what did he do? You guessed it. He stood straight up!!! Cue his scream of terror! Cue him as he grabbed at the pain on his back. Cue me as I gave him the "why don't you listen to me" look, followed by the awww baby let me see, followed by the run upstairs for band aids, followed by the patch up of the 2 inch gash on his back. Sigh.

I no longer question why men...this man...doesn't listen to me. We've been together far too long for that for me to ponder silly questions like that. I only wonder what he hears in place of the things I say.

I like to play a mental game of What I Said & What He Heard. Goes a little something like this:

Me: The car is making a weird noise.
Him: There goes that signed helmet I wanted.

Me: Can you write a check for Fidge's lunch account?
Him: Out of my account? Didn't she eat last week?

Me: Babe did we ever find our recycling bin?
Him: I wonder who won the Western Conference?

Me: So what do you want for dinner?
Him: I hope the Heat win it all! Lebron deserves it.

Yup, 'tis my life. I love it I really do. But I just hope & pray I don't I don't scream DUCK!!! and he looks around for something yellow that quacks!



How do you deal when 70% of what you say goes in one ear & out the other? Do you just stop talking like I usually do? Do you grab a loudspeaker & have at it? Where is the archived Oprah show on the subject? 




 

Oprah Taught Me: 10 Lessons From The Oprah Winfrey Show

There are a few things that are constant in my life. My mother will call me every morning to recap the most current of events, my internal alarm will not let me sleep pass 7:30am on the weekends, and everyday for the last 25 years The Oprah Winfrey Show aired at 4pm est. Today however marks the end of an era. I will not ugly cry over this post. What I will do is list the 10 Lessons That Oprah Taught Me. Enjoy.


Never Hold A Grudge:
Okay so my mother taught me this one first but Ms. O reinforced it. I remember her telling this story of how she was angry with someone for some reason that doesn't matter. One day she ran into them and the person was just as smiley and happy and could give no damns that she was mad at them. Oprah recalls that she was carrying the weight of that anger and grudge, meanwhile the other person had moved on and was skipping down the street.

Stupid 20s:
Every now and again Oprah makes a reference about how naive and gullible she was in her 20's. Nothing worse than actually being 20 something and having The Big O praising and celebrating how much she's glad "those stupid days are over". Yes, it struck a nerve and somewhere around age 24 I decided that I would no longer be another stupid 20 something girl stupid in love, in money, etc. It took another 2 years to get smart but she gave me the swift kick I needed.

You Never Know How Another Person Lives:
I believe everyone and every body is perfectly flawed and human. I have never put anyone on a higher plateau than anyone else. I don't care their position in life, POTUS, minister, or doctor. I don't care if they smile all day with their white picket fences and 2.5 kids. You simply never know what someone else is going through or where they've been. So when they hide an affair for over 10 years, father a child, while lying to their family and friends to maintain their political position it really shouldn't come as a surprise.Which brings me to...

When People Show You Themselves Believe Them:
I'm a bit of a jerk. I made this announcement to my hubby very early in our relationship. He of course thought I was being cute and snarky. I was being transparent. He later discovered that I wasn't lying. Everyday someone offers you a clue to the real them. Take it at face value. Don't offer an excuse to it or sweep it under the rug. That's usually the real them.

Never Let'em See You Ugly Cry:
Oh Oprah, that Mary Tyler Moore episode not only ruined your staff from surprising you ever again but it birthed the Ugly Cry. An Ugly Cry is a cry so ugly that instead of people offering you a tissue and a shoulder to lean on they usually hide their kids.

Never Go To The 2nd Location:
Hopefully this is one to know is theory but not in practice. The idea is simple. If you're abducted, fight, scream bloody murder (literally), and do everything in your power to avoid being taken to the second location. Criminals and all around bad people will want to take you to a remote location where no one will hear you fighting for your life. You'll most certainly be killed there. Never go!

God Will Dream A Bigger Gift Than You:
The idea is that sometimes we don't even truly know what we want out of life. Or that we're too humble to imagine the possibilities. You may have a simple dream of selling pies at the local fair made from your grandmother's recipes. Three years later you have a store front. Then 10 years later you become the Million Dollar Pie Lady with 7 locations featured on every major news outlet and endorsed by major celebrities. I made all of this up of course but it could happen.

Celebrate A Person's Life, Not Their Death: 
When a loved one passes we want to mourn them in a way that represents our feelings for them. Often times the more connected you are with that person the more you want to/will grieve. It's only natural and it was natural for Jo Ann Compton who was in deep grief since the day her daughter was tragically killed. Dr. Phil, then a staple on Oprah helped her see that her daughter lived 18 beautiful years and yet she only focused on the day she died.

Read A Book:
Another Oprah reinforced lesson. I've been in love with books all my life. I'm sure The Berenstain Bears were the first I can read books I read. That was followed by The BabySitters Club and Encyclopedia Brown. There was also a few terrible years when I read nothing but V.C. Andrews and James Patterson. But then I graduated to mostly non-fictions and magazine clips. Oprah reminded me that it's cool to get lost in make believe again.

When You Know Better You'll Do Better:

Some of us are born with just a bit more know how than others. Some of learn from our mistakes, while others learn from other peoples mistakes. Doesn't matter how you learn as long as when you do you apply it. We know that smoking is bad for you and you shouldn't drink or text while driving. We know that what our children need most from us is our time. We know that you can't sustain yourself eating fast foods for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. If you didn't know these things, now you do. Do better!

Thank you Ms. Oprah!

What lessons have you learned from watching The Oprah Winfrey Show? What will you miss the most? What's your fondest show memory? What will you do now at 4pm?

The Only Secret You'll Need For A Great Relationship

See? They're making it work!

I love the blogosphere. Heck I'm a part of the blogosphere But what really grinds my gears are all of these relationship blogs that cater to women helplessly, hopelessly woopin pa nub. I can't stand it. There is nothing: I repeat NOTHING a blog or a self help book can say to make you approach your relationship differently. Why? Glad you asked.

Simply put the heart will never do what your brain tells it. They will always be at opposite ends of the love spectrum. Example: You know Hakim is a disrespectful, lazy, no good dude. He won't even pick his Momma up from the airport. What kinda man won't pick his Momma up from the airport? Terrible. Just terrible. Yet you stay with him. You stay even after everyone from the your girls to the lady in nail shop tell you to leave. Why? Glad you asked. Because you're heart doesn't do what your brain tells it. It's impossible.

Now you're probably thinking. Well then we're all screwed. You're right. We are. We're also humans that thrive on companionship and coffee. So what do we do? How do we explore this love thing without ending up in Sheppard Pratt? What the heck is the secret?

Is it COMMUNICATION?
Sure that's a component. I mean you have to be able to express a thought to get what you need. That's what all the older gray haired couples tell us right? Isn't this up there with never go to bed angry? Talk talk talk. That's what everyone says. Ask the right questions (whatever they are) and basically interview your potential life mate. Hmmm...close but no still a doughnut short of a bakers dozen.

So then the answer is YOU SHOULD BE FRIENDS FIRST.
Yup, you should at least know a person pre-romance enough to want to just hang out with them. You should have some stuff in common to at least hold a conversation effortlessly. You should actually...umm...how should I say this...like them. But as nice as this sounds this isn't the secret either.

So if communication isn't the key and establishing a friendship first isn't the primary factor to a great relationship then what Dai is it? Glad you asked.

You want to know what the secret is? You want to know what makes for a winning fulfilling relationship? Here it folks.

Find someone as messed up as you are and grow together. 

Huh? I don't want someone messed up like me...I'm not even messed up. Am I?

Yes, you're messed up. Don't fret. We all are. We're human. Which explains why when trying to find a mate we either do one of two things. We tend to look for someone significantly out of our league or someone 2000 leagues under the sea.

Typically women go for someone who will take care of them, thus finding someone out of their league. I know, I know we don't want to imagine that someone is out our league. However, if you're struggling to make ends meet living paycheck to paycheck and he's a successful entrepreneur with cash to spare it may seem that you've found a winner. But alas you are mistaken. Here's what will happen. He'll love you for a while, he may even take care of you. Eventually he'll meet Sandy at some smart person convention & they'll talk about all kinds of new techie things and then they'll have a drink. And we all know what happens after they have a drink so...

The other side of the coin is the woman who finds a fixer upper guy. She takes him home, feeds him, cleans him up, and teaches him how to put his dirty drawers in the clothes hamper. You know what happens next right? He fixes his shiny new behind right out of there to the next chick.

Okay, okay. I hear you. Dai that doesn't always happen! You're generalizing. I know a rich guy who married his waitress who worked at Applebees blah blah blah...

Truthfully, I don't care about that guy or that waitress unless she's also a cook & then maybe we can swap recipes or something. I digress...I only care about you. Yes you! If you like to skydive over New York City after Sunday brunch at least twice a month then you better find someone who can appreciate that. If you've been fired from every job you've ever had including your mother's bakery then you may need someone who is a little challenged in the employment department. If you have three bad azz kids then...you...you may need a belt.

There's a point somewhere.

Oh...here it is. Relationships are the crux of the human experience and the growth opportunity lies within the most successful ones. It stands to reason when you're looking for someone who's a 6ft, church going, corporate thug who loves his momma, that you would include someone I can learn from and grow with on that list.


Have you ever read a relationship book? Have you ever learned anything of value from one that you actually applied in real life? Does anyone know who makes Steve Harvey's suits?

Will Beyonce Run The Music World...Again?

Album due out June 28th

Beyonce is clearly managing herself since she severed professional ties from her father/manager Matthew Knowles. The result has been the most sporadic and intriguing roll out of a new project by a veteran artist we've seen to date. On one hand there's the first single "Run The World (Girls)" which was either leaked or released as a snippet boasting production by Switch of Major Lazer, co-written by The Dream using a sample from  Major Lazer's "Pon De Floor". Then there was the 11 second clip for the video, followed a day later with a bit longer clip. If that wasn't enough to entice you, a full minute trailer aired soon after. One got the sense that the video wasn't quite Sasha Fierce enough. On the other hand, once "Girls" was ready -- hyped up by it's premiere on American Idol -- it was seen by over 20 million in the viewing audience. Some tuned in to the show just for the video.

We're either witnessing a new era of how an artist breaks their new music or decisions are being made in haphazard fashion. It's still too soon to tell. However, for a seasoned star of Beyonce's caliber you would think this process would go a lot smoother with better results. With four weeks on the Billboard charts "Run The World" has failed to crack the Top 30 on the Hot 100, R&B, or Digital Charts. Even hard core fans are finding the song a bit hard to swallow. We must remember though that Beyonce has always leaned to her nearest inspiration when it comes to her sound.

2003's debut album Dangerously In Love followed her stint as Foxxy Cleopatra in the Austin Powers series. The music reflected loud horns from the 70s as well as a sensual soulful tone. "Crazy In Love" the biggest hit off of Love featuring Jay-Z paved the way for the next album. Beyonce studied how her future husband worked in the studio (creating healthy competition by pitting producers up against one another in different rooms) and it inspired her to use this method for 2006's B'Day.

Famously created in a face paced two weeks, B'Day's sound was loud, bold, and urban. Although it debuted at the top of the charts it wasn't until the pop friendly 4th single "Irreplaceable" and a repackaged deluxe CD complete with the "Beautiful Liar" Shakira duet were released that the overall album was a true success.

It seems that this logic of catering to her R&B urban Destiny's Child roots as well as the ever growing pop masses loomed over Beyonce. Thus, I Am...Sasha Fierce was born. Part adult contemporary Starbucks music, part club banging dance music the double disc attempted to appeal to everyone. Beyonce even released songs against each other starting with "If I Were A Boy" perfect for the Vh1 Top 20 audiences and "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)" for the 106 & Park set.

But something strange happened. While "Boy" was a hit there was no one way it could dominate the phenomenon that was "Single Ladies" accompanied by its video & Bob Fosse inspired choreography. The song became a YouTube hit, spawned a great Justin Timberlake Saturday Night Live skit, and was even covered by Liza Minelli on the Sex And The City Movie.

Recently in an  MTV article Beyonce stated, "I'm mixing every type of genre that I love and I'm inspired by every type of genre...It's not R&B. It's not typically pop. It's not rock. It's just everything that I love all mixed together in my own little gumbo of music." If "Run The World (Girls)" is any indication of this new found gumbo sound we may need to rethink the recipe. Sonically the sample is nothing new. Lyrically it's another girl power anthem albeit one written by a guy who cheated on his pregnant wife.

But what Beyonce may lack in substance and innovation she more than makes up for on the stage. "Run The World (Girls)" will undoubtedly be performed a dozen times leading up to the albums release date. There will be chances to break the song on awards shows, talk shows, as well as on Oprah's farewell season. Audiences may just need to see the song come to life before they can get behind it. And for someone like Beyonce who is so at home on the stage this may not be a difficult task at all.

Working Out It Week: Hair Care

I posted this picture last week on Facebook of my hair after 2 days of running intervals outdoors. While my roots were definitely curly and parts of my hair had returned to its wavy state overall it didn't look half bad. I filed this pic under: No excuses.

As a woman of color, particularly a woman with relaxed hair, I understand the plight we go through in order to maintain our locks. That said I can't tell you the last time I had my hair professionally styled. I've always done my own hair mainly because I don't have the time, energy, money, or patience to be in a salon weekly or biweekly. I can't imagine how it feels to sweat out a style after you've paid money for it. I can't relate to that.

So my first tip would be to learn your own hair. Learn how to do a simple wash, blow dry, and style.Roller sets work well and wear well. Also it's less heat applied daily to your hair. This may be asking a lot but  I would even encourage women to save salon styles for special occasions, trims, colors, and take over the responsibility of your regular hair care maintenance. Also embracing your hair's natural texture will free you of the "creamy crack" and make you more likely to get active.

I'm not a total naturalista yet but I do a mean wash & go. Less heat, less product, less time in front of the mirror equals more time working it out!! Win WIN!

Moving on. Let's your protect your hair during workouts. Second tip should be a no brainer: Get your hair off of your face & neck! Scarves, clips, ponytails, and headbands are all your friends here. Use them until your workout is complete and you've cooled down. Then immediately let your hair down to let your scalp breathe.   

If you're exercising regularly and sweating up a storm you'll find that washing your hair once a week just won't cut it. You may opt to fit a second wash into your weekly routine. It's inevitable that you'll have extra buildup of sweat and product in your hair when you work out so it's really important to take extra special care of your hair as well as your scalp.

I'm a bit of a product junkie so I could offer some of my own tried and true labels but I prefer to stress the importance of this instead. No matter what do not let your hair hold you back from being active and healthy. The last debate you want to have is do I want to be cute or fit? I hate to bring up men here but I have to. I've done my fair share of unscientific polling and guess what? There's not a man on this planet that would choose your perfectly coiffed hair over your health. Nope, doesn't exist.

Share your healthy hair tips. How do you wear your hair? Do it find it easy to maintain during workouts? What's the hardest thing about taking care of your hair while sweating buckets? Sharing is caring.

Working It Out Week: When It Hurts So Bad

Yeah...I feel you sis

I planned to write a post on maintaining relaxed and natural hair while working out regularly. I was going to discuss styles that would protect hair during your exercise and suggest affordable products to use. I was even going to offer ways to maintain a healthy scalp between hair washes. I was going to do all of that. But in my efforts to mobilize and get my behind off of the couch it hasn't been as easy as I would have hoped. In my new found sense of urgency I over did it. I hurt myself. And it's bummed me out. And there isn't a hubby hug or a "you got this girl" from my bestie that can lift my spirits.

I feel like my body isn't cooperating with my mind. My mind is fierce and can run a marathon right now. My body on the other hand can not. No matter what I try to do all I feel is pain. God awful, excruciating pain. There is so much pain that I tag teamed my daughter into a Zumba session the other night, fell against the wall holding my legs and got angry. I was angry at my legs for not doing what I wanted them to do. I was mad that I lost control over my breathing. Mostly, I was just mad at myself for the years of inactivity that made me this way.

Logically speaking, I know better. However, the quick learner in me wants to know a thing, figure it out, and execute it yesterday. Running does not work this way. This will not be mastered in a day or a week or even a month and for someone who has an innate need to complete a task it's beyond discouraging. And I don't give a rats azz that Rome wasn't built in a day or that my body wasn't made this soft in 24 hours I want results NOW! Actually, that's a lie. I don't care about the results...that will come in time. I'm okay with that. I just want to be able to do it...NOW!

When it hurts so bad I'm forced to listen to my body whether I'd like to or not. Right now it's telling me to take it easy. It's reminding me of all that I know to be true. Give your body time to recuperate. Workout different parts of your body as the lovely Tetekai commented the other day. Most of all I have to remember why I'm doing this in the first place. I want to be strong from the inside out. I want to improve my heart and lung functions. I want to improve my flexibility and mobility so that I'll be around longer. I want my ego to understand all of this and consider this just the beginning. I need my ego to have nothing to prove to anyone. Yet that's how it works so more than anything I'm sure my ego is hurt most of all.


What do you do when it hurts so bad? How do you recoup? How do you keep from being discouraged?

Working It Out Week: 5 Things You Need To Know About Workout Clothes

I'm Russel Brand. I'm English and quirky.

I joked last week on Facebook asking if anyone knew that most discount and department stores have magically areas that sell Activewear. I was only partially joking. Truth is aside from the occasional sports bra and accompanying someone else I never really set foot inside an athletic store. Obviously there aren't many athletes in my family. So there were a few things that I had to learn about buying proper workout attire and here they are. Sharing is caring. 

1. The Essentials:

As much as I want to wear Hubby's old t-shirts and baggy shorts it doesn't work well. You need something that shows a little skin, isn't too heavy, and motivates you to move. Anything less and you might as well stay home losing hours on twitter. If you wear loose pants or shorts make sure they have a drawstring. Someone I know ran right out of her pants recently. I'm not saying it was me but I'm not saying it wasn't. Also, choose breathable fabrics like cotton or specialty materials designed to pull moisture away from your body. 

2. Put Your Best Foot Forward:

I can not stress the importance of a good shoe. I spent a good deal being fitted with several different styles, brands, and arches. I actually left the store and came back another day just to ensure I made the right decision. Part of my short term goals is to run a 5K and I'm training outdoors on a trail. There would be no way in God's green earth for me to do this without the support of my sneakers. No way. 

3. Socks Matter Too:

During my first interval training I stopped no less than 5 times either pulling up my sock or taking my shoe completely off to readjust my sock. Annoying! When you exercise a lot you can produce up to a cups worth of sweat. Gross right? So you want to choose well. Cotton socks are okay for light workouts. Anything that wicks perspiration is great for a more intense session. And wool socks are ideal for cold winter workouts. Also someone I know bought socks at a discount store. Turns out they were also irregular and had crooked stitching. I'm not saying it was me but...you know.

4. The Good, The Bad, And The Undies:

There is a not a pair of undies on this planet that will not go places they shouldn't when you're exercising. Turns out all of those running shorts with built in panties that someone overlooked may have been a great idea. You know someone didn't get them. Breathable fabric still rules here. A great sports bra can be more supportive than a best friend. After I told my mom about my walk/runs she said, "you must have had one helluva bra." I replied, "No, I had two!" Larger breasted women may find it necessary to double up on those double Ds in the interim. 

5. Seasonal Gear:

Who knew you could actually wear a sweat suit to run instead of run errands? Someone I know never even considered the thought. Anyway, it's definitely spring here in the North East which means beautiful sunny clear skies one day and ran for the next 4 days straight. If outdoor activity is your thing then you have to dress accordingly. General rule of thumb is to dress in three basic layers: moisture management to pull sweat from your skin, insulation to maintain body temperature, and a shell to protect from the elements.  Make sure your shell is lightweight enough not to weigh you down and large enough to fit over the other layers. 

What's the one piece of workout gear that you can't go without? What's your new favorite find? Have you ever splurged to have that one essential item?

Working It Out Week: Do Something...Anything!

This does NOT count!

Working It Out Week continues with great tips to get started. Again I preface this by saying that I know nothing about the subject of actually being fit (except that one year in '99). But what I do have are a special set of skills, skills that I've developed over a decade of getting started. 

So here goes.

Tell a friend...tell several:

I know, I know you've already told the world several times over that THIS would be your year and failed...publicly. Who cares. You think that stopped Trump. Heck no and he quit before he started. Tell people around you and let them hold you accountable. Let them be your cheerleader. Join an online group or join forces with your co-workers. One of my oldest, dearest friends started a Facebook page dedicated to being healthier and it's great! We share our meals, our successes, and our failures. Support, motivation, and inspiration will always be a winning combination. Without even knowing it you guys are now holding me accountable just by reading my blog. See how easy it is?


Do Something...Anything:

Years ago I swore by Taebo. It had me in the best shape of my life. One of my besties is a runner. My other bestie is a swimmer. Going to the gym and taking classes works for some but it's not my cup of chai. But here lies the beauty of doing something. There's soooo many ways to move your body. Dancing, Zumba, Kinect Sports,Walking, Pilates. Who knows you may have a yogi living inside of you. Take your dogs for a loooonnng walk. Go bike riding with the kids. Just do something...anything. Make a commitment to exercising your heart at least 3x a week. Your heart will thank you!


Make Yourself  A Priority:

If you don't have 20 minutes a day to devote to your health then you are doing life wrong!! Yeah, I said it. No excuses people. You either want to be around for a while or you don't. You want to be fit or you don't. I work full time, manage this blog, and am a wife and mother of both a teen and a Dood. No excuses. I'm tired. It's too hot. It's raining. No excuses. I don't like to sweat. I don't see results. No excuses. Remember the goal is to move and be healthy. The benefit is weight loss.

Move At Your Own Pace:

I've been so excited and euphoric in my walk/run endeavors that my lower legs gave out on me Sunday. I literally saw our car far off in the parking lot of the park and almost cried. I had been doing intervals for 5 days straight for a mile or more and didn't consider giving my legs a day off. It was also my second day out with Hubby and I wanted to show him what I could do. Big mistake...huge. 1st mistake...I tried to keep up with his longer walking strides. 2nd mistake...when the pain really set in my ego wouldn't let me take a break. But a major lesson was learned; leave Hubby home move at my own pace. Now I understand this:

Allow time for recovery. Many people start exercising with frenzied zeal — working out too long or too intensely — and give up when their muscles and joints become sore or injured. Plan time between sessions for your body to rest and recover.

5 Steps to Getting Started, mayoclinic.com

Duly noted. I think I see pilates in my future today.


I'd love to hear your tips to getting started. Do you have a workout buddy? What activities do you enjoy? What advice do you have for beginners? How do you manage recoup days?

Working It Out Week Presents: 12 Great Work Out Songs

Kanye West "The NewWorkout Plan"

Welcome to Working It Out Week here at Alovelydai.com. All week long we'll discuss how to get started, how to maintain relaxed hair while working out, what to eat, and what to wear. No worries though. I'm only a few months removed from the couch so this is really about me...and you...and me. It's about getting and staying motivated. It's about offering tips I know but never put to use and a great way to have you (yes the YOU who are already working it out) help me help myself. First up, music to work out to. After all, sometimes we need a little something to push us.

So I present 12 Great Work Out Songs (in no particular order).

12. Pharoah Monch "Simon Says": 

When Simon Says "get the fcuk up" you better! 

11. DJ Khaled f/Ludacris, T-Pain, Rick Ross, Snoop "All I Do Is Win": 

"Cause all I do is win." Who? Me! You! We the best man! 

10. Michael Jackson "Don't Stop Til You Get Enough": 

The hubby doesn't agree with this. MJ makes him wanna dance but sometimes the force...it got a lot of power...and it makes me wanna "Whoooo". Then after I "whooo" I work it out! Oh & there's a built in cool down too at the end.

9. Kanye West "Power"/ "Stronger"/ "Workout Plan": 

Self explanatory right?

8. Beyonce "Run The World" (Girls): 

Run the world both figuratively & literally!

7. Guns & Roses "Welcome To The Jungle":

Because when the going gets tough...embrace it! 

6. Rihanna "Hard": 

Ri Ri goes H.A.M on this one and you will too. "Where my bloggers at, where my bloggers at, where they at, where they at, where they at?"

5. Rick Ross "Hustlin'": 

If you can flip burgers and shake the salt shaker ala Katt Williams you can definitely do a few push ups to it.

4. Adele's "Rolling In The Deep": 

The tempo and pace of this song is great for running intervals. Every time Adele belts "We could have had it all" start sprinting. 

3. Eminen's "Lose Yourself": 

Lose yourself, push yourself. You only get one shot. 

2. DMX "Party Up"/ "Ruff Ryders Anthem": 

Just be careful you don't start barking at dogs. They might not take kindly to that. 

1. M.O.P "Ante Up":  

You'll be taking no prisoners with this one!! Cap that fool! 

Your turn. Tell me what song(s) gets you pumped, amped, psyched, motivtated, and inspired. What song(s) make you want to go above and beyond in your fitness endeavors? Click here to view full video for Kanye West "The New Workout Plan".

I Feel Good About This

“A pair of shoes can change your life. Just ask Cinderella.” –Anonymous

It took 3 weeks of clean eating before I felt the slightest curb in my starchy, salty, fatty, "OMG I need cheese crackers" diet. On the other hand, moving, exercising, and being "active" has taken me a wee bit longer. I was active one year in my entire life and that was 1999. I tell no lies when I tell the truth. In my pursuit of nothingness, i.e. watching mindless TV, reading books, swaying in the breeze, I forgot...could give no damns...about the real purpose of moving.

Many moons ago I passed by a much older lady -- small and frail -- on my walks to the school bus stop (hey I said many moons ago). Every single morning and I'm positive this includes weekends she practiced Tai Chi. I remember putting this image in my memory bank. I remember thinking I want to move like her. I want to be like Tai Chi Chick when I'm Tai Chi Chick's age.

But once again life got in the way (or I got out the way, not sure) and campus walks turned into car drives. Daily Taebo turned into a pile of VHS dust, then a pile of DVD dust. Late nights at the club were back seated for "beauty rest" and "being responsible". And long walks around the Harbor were well...I don't live close anymore.

I promise you if it wasn't for my children I would never leave the house on the weekends. If Dood didn't want to play soccer or ride his bike or do 10 minute playground this hermit crab would be shelled comfortably and Vitamin D deficient. If Fidge didn't want to go to the mall or book store or Chipotle I wouldn't do anything. Oh and then there's my aversion to sweating. I..I just...don't care for it. And pain...whoever said "no pain no gain" needs a swift kick in the throat. I have a crazy high tolerance for pain and yet I avoid it at all costs.

But the other day I walked and then I sprinted for over a mile. And the yesterday I did it even longer. And I can't wait to do it all again! I think somethings wrong with me. I...I..think I might...on a good day...when Pluto is aligned with Venus...succeed. I think I may actually become the active person my brain already thinks I am. I think that going from The Couch to 5K is...well...attainable. I can...maybe...do this.

On day one as excited as I was about my new running sneakers synced awesomely to my iPod, I was tired. I worked, took Dood to Speech, and a part of me felt like I lost the whole day. Maybe I'll start tomorrow. However, I walked in my kitchen and saw Fidge with her bestie wearing running shorts and tees and I said I can do this...and they are going too. Yes, I brought Dood and the girls with me. Fidge's bestie (who happens to run cross country) facilitated our stretches and Dood & I devised a plan. We would walk until we saw a park bench and then we would run to it.

The benches were spaced out so beautifully that without even thinking about it we were doing intervals. And before I knew it the lady in my ear said "One mile completed." You guys have no idea how proud and exhausted and accomplished I feel. I get it. I totally understand why the trail was packed with so many variations of people on the same mission. When the same man passed us twice I felt just a tinge of discouragement but it quickly formed into motivation. I'm going to run like that guy some day. I will pass people two and three times around this trail. I will be strong and spry like the little frail Tai Chi Chick. It will happen. I feel good about this.

How My Hubby Got Out Of The Friend Zone

Sometimes my hubby catches me looking at him like I've never seen him before. I'm sure he thinks I'm weird or have some strange eye disorder. I'm usually thinking to myself; Self, how did this happen? That's D. That's your boy, your homie. This doesn't make sense.

But it did make sense. He's a great guy and I was ready for a great guy. So when he completely crossed the friend zone threshold holding me a little tighter around my waist on that miniature golf course, I surrendered just a little. When he flirted looking directly in my eyes, I didn't look away. When he gave me a big embrace and kissed my cheek just that much closer to my lips, I didn't budge.
And when he came to my home so that I could help him study for his professional license without any of his books or material, I laughed it off and said a silent what the hell to myself.

Dude was nice. He turned a quiet weekday work night eating pizza and watching Lion King 1 1/2 into the start of us. More importantly, he made no mistakes about what he wanted - me. He didn't take the back seat helping me shop for groceries or put furniture together. He didn't sit around listening to me vent about exes or recount my wish list for a great guy. He showed up as that guy and made sure to tell me so.

That my friends is the difference. You can sit by, hoping, praying, and friending your way into someone's life or you can step up and make it so clear that that person either has to acknowledge the possibility of you or let you go. There's a risk that someone may just get their feelings hurt. There's also a risk that you could ruin your friendship. Surprisingly, we have NEVER had the "what if this doesn't work & what will happen to our friendship" conversation. We trusted that it would either work or we could be mature about it ending. But here's the thing about that.

If you're in a friendship with someone who you'd rather be in a relationship with is it really a friendship?

Crappy Holidays Make You Cheat? Really?

There are two topics on this blog that seem to cause a stir. Well...maybe they're not topics but rather than words. It seems that the mere mention of "penis" and "cheating" sends my stats sky high. Hence the reason why "Penis Envy" (a post that I wrote over a year ago) is a recent popular post. However, if I were to showcase the most popular post of all time it would be part one of a little ditty I wrote about cheating. I will not link to it here so if you want to read it go find it.

Yesterday I posted this link on my Facebook. A quick blurb for the lazies.

On a typical Monday, between 2,500 and 3,000 women join AshleyMadison.com. But on the day after Mother's Day last year, AshleyMadison.com saw close to 24,000 new signups. They anticipate that 30,000 women will join this year on May [9] -- the day after Mother's Day.

On Mother's Day, women in general expect to be celebrated by their partners. However, for many already suffering from a lack of appreciation, this day represents a continuation of neglect and disappointment.
Women have affairs for different reasons than men. Whereas men are usually looking for sex, women tend to seek attention that they're not getting at home. This lack of attention often makes them feel undesirable -- and feeds their need for validation. 

via MomLogic.com

Before I could finish my green tea I received a comment, two inbox messages, and a phone call. All from men.

The Facebook comments ranged from "yup" to "any excuse will do." The inbox message asked if I agreed with the article and the call went something like, "Saw your update. So how was your Mother's Day?"

I guess men also want to know what leads a women to cheat. They're looking for answers just like most women are. I guess...I really don't know.

I simply thought it was an interesting article. The idea that women wait for a day (Mothers Day, Valentines Day, Anniversaries) as proof of appreciation, consideration, and love baffles me. Really? The idea that a day, any day is a deal breaker for an entire relationship is laughable to me. Really?

I have a dear older friend who's been married to her husband almost as long as I've been on the planet. They have great things in common and their own interests. Most holidays she spends with her husband then she retreats with her family which includes their only son. Her husband, she tells me often, is just not a people person, nor is he a big family all day kind of person, or anywhere close to the life of the party. He's a guy's guy. He fixes cars, bikes, and watches endless amounts of sports. If she wants anything he'll get it for her but here's the catch. She has to let him know. He has never or will ever do any investigating to surmise what she may like. He will not ask one of her many girlfriends. It has to be written on the wall preferably next to his tools where he might read it. This is how she lives but most importantly she knows and understands that this is the man she made a life with. He is who he is and she accepts that. Their only romantic moments come every Saturday morning when they have breakfast together recapping the week.

Long winded I know but I feel it's important to note that she understands fully the man she married. That's the real lesson. Know who you're with. If you need someone to suspend the moon for you then you better find that guy. If holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries are a love priority for you then you better make it clear that this is what makes you tick.

So before you get your panties in a bunch fretting over the next holiday ask yourself now the following:

How important is it to be appreciated and valued for all that I do either in words or in the form of a gift or outing?


Am I willing to permanently alter our relationship by going outside of it for the validation I need? 


Sounds simple but clearly there are women who prefer being emotionally held hostage over being loved wholeheartedly. To those women I say it wasn't the holiday that changed your relationship, it only served as the giant mirror reflecting it. 

Rihanna "California King Bed"

Beautiful video and song. Now can we get a video for "Man Down"?

Katy Perry Vs Rebecca Black

Okay so we've heard Rebecca Black's "Friday"...or at least one of a trillion spoofs of it...or seen the Glee performance. It's a catchy little ditty isn't it? HA!

For the 1% of you who hasn't heard it here it is:

Rebecca Black "Friday"




But here's the thing. We can't really laugh at the simple, ridiculous lyrics of Black's song when Katy Perry's song is well just as simple and ridiculous. She recounts her "Last Friday Night" with the rapid fire of a speed tweeter. Oh & there's a saxophone break down!!! Yes, how 80's of her!!!

I just hope the soon to be video has a montage of people wearing lace, neon yellow Swatch watches & aviator shades!!


Katy Perry "Last Friday Night"

What do you think? Does Katy have some work to do? Is Rebecca's "Friday" better? Do they both equally suck?

Great Last Minute Mother's Day Gifts

For the Diva Momma

Mary J Blige & Carol's Daughter teamed up to launch this yummy sensual fragrance. $49.99

For the Cooking Momma

Cuisinart Panini Grill Press $49.95

For the "Me Time" Momma

Send her for a mani/ pedi then off to see Jumping The Broom in theaters today. 

For the Runaway Momma

Nike Free 5.0 VK W omen's Running Shoe. Strength trains legs & feet, imitates barefoot motion. $69 & up.

For the Book Worm Momma

$16.00

$24.95

$19.99

  

What great gifts do you have in mind for your Mom's special day?

The One Where Fidge Asks To Bike Ride For 40 Miles

So Fidge is mad because I never write about her Fidge antics. There's two very good reasons for this.

One, she can read...well.

Two, it's hard enough being a 14 year old girl without your mom blogging about you.

But since she's mad anyway let's see if I can piss her off more. This little anecdote comes courtesy of Tuesday. Yup, just a simple Tuesday where she stops me as I prepare dinner and says, "I've been invited."

"Awesome." This is the part where I should ask where, when, but she can speak...well...I taught her. She'll advise when ready.

20 minutes later. "I've been invited," she begins again. "[Insert friend who happens to be a boy] said he was bike riding with his friends on Saturday and I was like, 'Oh you just hanging out without me', and he was like, 'Well it'd be cool if you came too' and I was like 'Cool.'"

"Bike riding where?" I already know she has no idea.

20 minutes later. "It's on the trail and it's like 20 miles down and like 20 miles back."

"Fidge, you can barely bike a whole mile! You're not biking for 40!" My brain is already dumping this proposal in the deepest ocean next to Bin Laden.

"But you always say I should be more active and then when I wanna do something you say no." she whines.

"First of all, don't ever use the word 'active' in a sentence talking to me" My brain automatically sticks 'sexually' in front of it. "And B, you got yourself invited with him and his friends. He didn't even ask you. Let that boy have a day with his friends."

[Insert friend who happens to be a boy] was clearly doing the nice guy thing by invited her along. But I can already see him walking beside her pushing their bikes while his friends are 4 miles ahead popping wheelies and flying with E.T. over the moon. She has no idea what her calves are in for.

"I tell you what. Call your Dad and ask him." Brilliant. Why didn't I think of this first?

"But he's probably at work and won't answer his phone." She pouts and I think but you call me at work, da hell?


Then as a final act of desperation she asks the hubby - her step dad- who's been sitting there the entire time what he thinks and without blinking he says, "What? I wasn't listening." Great job hubby!

"Never mind." She stomps off.

So what do you guys think? Should I just let her bike ride all willy nilly on some trail with [insert friend who happens to be boy] AND his friends? I will not be swayed but I would love to read all of your reasons why the answer is hell naw! 

The One Where Dood Gets Sleep Slapped

I'll tell you the moral of this story right away so there will never be any confusion:

Never ever ever ever wake someone up to piss them off.

It's bad for everyone involved. The person who did the waking, the wakee, and the poor unfortunate Dood who gets his covers yanked off of him, yelled at, and slapped on his leg for drinking three THREE juice boxes.

Exhibit Q-Z0503

And didn't even discard the evidence!!

So I'm minding my own business, five minutes from REM sleep and the hubby push taps me (you know how someone taps you so hard it moves you back like a shove....yeah that's the right word shove.) Rewind. So I'm minding my own business, five minutes from REM sleep and the hubby shoves me to tell me that Dood devoured not one, not two, but THREE juice boxes!!!

This little booger didn't ask for juice, didn't drink just one, and didn't even throw the empty boxes away!! More importantly, I was sleep. In my sleepy stupor I slid out the bed, stammered to his bedroom where his Daddy had already tucked him safely away and scolded the kid with one eye open and a slap.

By the time I got back to my own bed I had to recount what I did just so I could understand what I just did!!! Then I prayed Lawd please don't let the sugar keep this kid up all night and Lawd if you're listening, because I know you're busy, please oh please don't let this kid wet the bed. Amen.

You know this reminds me of the time where the hubby & I were on vacation and I was thoroughly enjoying the hotel's black out curtains and the time delay and sleeping in waaaayyy past my normal. This man woke me up because he was hungry!!!! I repeat, HE was hungry. Next thing I remember I was in a buffet, still shaking from the abruptness of it all. The worse part? We get back to our room and he takes a nap!!!!!

I think I need to re-write my wedding vows to include: I promise to never ever ever ever wake you up for my own benefit...unless of course it benefits you too.

Don't you just hate when someone wakes you up for no logical reason? Don't people know that no good will come of it?